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Honestly, I’m not sure whether to laugh or be disappointed, but I definitely can’t look away. When did this happen? One minute you’re my skinny guy, and the next, you’re... well, squishy. It’s getting impossible to ignore. Every time you sit down, that little roll on your tummy just spills over your waistband, mocking me. You used to be so lean, but now you’re developing these soft, prominent little love handles that I can actually sink my fingers into. It’s like your metabolism just gave up and decided to settle right in the middle. And don’t even get me started on your chest. I noticed them through your shirt earlier—you’re actually starting to develop moobs. It’s pathetic, really. My fit husband is officially getting softer than I am. Seeing that extra weight jiggle when you move is such a trip; you’re losing that sharp frame and replacing it with doughy, shameful curves. I’m almost embarrassed for you, seeing how much you’ve pudged up lately. You’r
